Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen. I John 5:21
It was a few weeks before Christmas. School was out. The tree was finally decorated. Most of my gifts had been purchased. The next thing on my agenda: The annual family portrait.
In our family the family portrait is usually just the kids, because getting us all in the picture would require all of the following: A) Catching my husband and older children at home at the same time; B) Convincing ALL of them to put on my pre-selected coordinating outfits; C) Bribing the youngest boy to wear his tie and vest; D) Getting myself primped up enough that I feel like I might be photogenic compared to my husband who was once scouted out to be a model; E) Hiring a professional to take the picture months in advance or begging a family member to take a picture with their phone because we no longer possess a real camera. For those of you who can manage all of the above–you are AWESOME. Me? Forget it.
Of course, even attempting the “kids picture” often looks more like a slap stick comedy than an orderly photo shoot. I have dealt with everything from crying babies to toddlers that decided asking for potty break was too much trouble to sleepy college student being awoken before their day’s sleep was done (the occurs when said college student works swing shift). Add all that to normal photo bloopers–blinking, off-cue smiling, lighting/background/ prop issues–and it seems a miracle is performed when even a decent photo is ever produced.
Oh, sure. I have had some measure of success. But, many years I have resigned myself to thinking that at least the grandparents will be thrilled. And everyone else will be encouraged by their comparable family portrait masterpieces.
But photographs are usually just snapshots:Snippets of life that give you glimpse of the moment. Yes, a picture may be worth a thousand words, but the actual experience is worth a million. And life is not a snapshot.
Ironically, when most of us think of family we mentally conjure up snapshots of idealistic nature. The perfect wedding photo, the sweet smiling baby portrait, the beautifully posed, and composed, family photograph. We hold these images in our hearts and minds, and are totally bewildered by the brutal reality. In fact, we can hold these impossibly flawless similitudes so sacred that they become our idols. Not the real people in the photograph, but are hopes of what they would be. How they would love us, how they would perform, and how they would nurture family relationships.
The thing about being a follower of Christ is He considers you His Bride, and He will not abide your clinging to idols. Don’t get me wrong, God holds family in high esteem: It was His first institution. But He calls us to worship Him “in spirit and in truth.” He calls us to first love our God with all our hearts, and then love others as ourselves. We cannot love Him, while carrying idols and believing lies.
The truth is many of us, especially me, carry around an ideal of a perfect family like an idol. I wish I could tell you that Christ has only had to crush this idol once for me, but I am pretty sure that I took the broken pieces of the first and crafted another. And when that one was crushed, I took up those pieces and crafted another. It may have been one ugly idol, but it was my precious.
If I could talk to any of you then probably we could both tell of broken relationships, huge disappointments, and heartbreaks as deep as the Mariana Trench. I have read and heard of family problems that make mine seem miniscule. But mine have been what I have personally experienced, and they have shaken me to my foundation. Praise God! My foundation is sure, because it is Christ.
Nevertheless, it is hard to let go of our images of the perfect family. Can I offer you a consolation? There has never on earth been a perfect family. Adam and Eve had problems before kids, but after their children were born it was worse. I mean most of us haven’t had our son kill our other son. Noah seemed to do all right. Well until he decided to keep a vineyard, and had a son disgrace him while he was passed out drunk. Surely you know the results of Abraham’s family problems, David’s “the sword will never depart from your house” brood, and all the muderous royal intrigues in the following generations. Even Jesus’s family was marked by disbelief and strife. And, in case you missed it, even the first churches were filled with family problems that are not suitable for young ears (check out I Corinthians for example).
So the reality is the perfect family will never be found on earth, anymore than a perfect person, outside of Christ himself.
Cherish your photos. But it is time end the cycle of disappointments by our fellow sinful family members. Throw down these false idols. Break them with sledge hammers, and DO NOT pick up the pieces. Bury them. And walk on. Only by letting go of our totally unrealistic mental photographs of what we wish our families would be are we free to love them for what they are AND receive the love they freely give us.
Finally, rest in this. God the Father is perfect. He has created a heavenly home for all His adopted children. One day, in heaven only, our longings for a perfect love will be utterly sufficed. Until then, go love on those beautifully imperfect people–our families. And every now, and take mental snapshot of the reality of now. It will pass in the blink of an eye.
apprehended by Christ 