“Only trust me. Only trust me. Only trust me now. I can save me. I can save me. I can save me now.” This how I should probably be singing the hymn Only Trust Him if I were completely honest with myself at all times.  Proving the old adage true that church is full of hypocrites (just like every other organization who has human members) I continue to choke out the truth I want so badly to live. Besides, even my 7 year old could easily reprimand me with Word of God I have so faithfully taught her. 

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Proverbs 3:5 is such a simple verse. Its words are elementary. They contain no double meaning. There is no secret prophetic message to interpret. It is just an imperative, that many kindergarteners memorize perfectly in one sitting.

It is the simplest command, but it eludes me. It makes my brain war with my heart. Trust in the Lord with all my heart? What does that look like? Lean not unto my own understanding? How on earth can I do that?  I mean I know God is worthy of trust, but I’ve got trust issues, and He knows it. And so do I.

Honestly, is there anyone who doesn’t have trust issues? I used to erraneously think that those of you blessed with stability in your early years would not have the burden of doubts and fears that plague me. In fact, for a while many had me fooled. But, now and then their trust issues would surface. I have been shocked to see trust issues as deeply rooted as mine from those planted in seemingly solid ground. And those truly accustomed to calm waters on the sea of life are totally rocked by the inevitable storms. They stagger around because they have not acquired their sea legs yet. 

Welcome to the club of the distrusting. To be human is to struggle with trust. Now how do we get off this blasted ship? By jumping overboard, of course.

In all thine ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:6

Despite all my trust issues, I must admit, I am more of Peter than a Nathaniel. Peter knew Who he was following with his first look at the Savior. Nathaniel had to be given a sign. Peter is loud and proud. We rarely heard a word from Nathaniel. Peter would rather be wrong than left behind under a tree or in a sinking ship. Like Peter, I am always diving into the sea to reach my Savior, but usually get distracted in the middle of my endeavor. Peter and I get into trouble is when we fail to acknowledge Him. As long as we choose to cling to Jesus, He will hold our hands whether walking the stormy sea, preaching to thousands, or being led to our own crucifixion. 

Trusting God is hard. It hurts to follow the God/Man acquainted with sorrows. Acknowledging Him means throwing out all our reasons to go our own way. That hurts, too: It bruises our pride, and wounds our intellect. It can make us appear as absolute fools to the entire world. It leaves us open to criticism, because what we are dong makes no sense to anyone else. Even other believers may ridicule us. But, what is the alternative? Will choosing our own path bring us happiness? 

Be not wise in thine own eyes:  Fear the Lord and depart from evil.  Proverbs 3:7

Perhaps for a season we will experience “happiness” if we go our own way. There is much self-satisfaction in following our own hearts, and attaining what we want. It is the American way. But, what we will lack is the joy of putting Christ and others first. We will miss out on the peace of God that passes all understanding. Our own wisdom will be our own undoing. We humans do not know what the next minute will bring, let alone the next day, month, year, or decade. God knows all. His ways are higher. The psalmist boldly said, “The Lord will perfect that which concerned have me: Thy mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever . . .” (Psalms 138:8). Truly, He knows the right path for each of us.

It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. Proverbs 3:8

We, mortals, do not have the capacity to understand what is good for us. If left to ourselves we would be like my 4 year old: We would choose to eat and cake ice cream for every meal. Our flesh craves sweet things. We want a life of ease and contentment. SPOILER ALERT: There is no life filled with ease and contentment. And IF there was such a life to be had we would miss the thrill of victory of over life’s battles, the joy of sacrificial giving, and the love of that comes only from a common bond of suffering. This is life, friends, and it is not to be compared to the passing fulfillment of our fleshly desires. 

So here I go again. I have already jumped my sinking ship, and am fixing my eyes on the Sea Walker. No, I do not need a life jacket, and the life boats sensibly left long ago. Yes, you probably will once again see me sinking in the waves. But my hope is not is the arm of man: It is firmly placed in the pierced hands of my Jesus. My soul trusts in the Lord. He will help my distrusting heart and unbelieving head.

Which hope we have as anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, which entereth into that within the veil. Hebrews 6:19