For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. Job 3:25

It had been 5 months. Five months of worry. Five months of scouring the internet for alternative options. Five months of striving for health. Five months of crying out to God for healing. Yet here I was looking out of my son’s hospital room. I guess all things considered, it could be worse. 

I mean look at the view. Breathtaking, autumn colors in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Talk about a room with a view.

And, oh, how I needed that view. 

There are few things that try our faith like suffering. And if watching your child be completely overcome by a merciless autoimmune disease is not suffering, then what is suffering? 

But the view. 

Where was my Heavenly Father in all this? Where was He when I was crying on the floor of bedroom not sure I could bear one more cry of my son? Where was He as my husband and I racked our brains, our friends’ ideas, books, the knowledge of medical professionals, and the all-knowing Google for one more option? Where was He as I cried on the hospital room floor, fearing so much worse than hospitalization? What was God’s view of His child’s suffering?

It was here.

 Oh, I know. Jesus isn’t on the cross anymore. I know He sits on the right hand of  God the Father in heaven. Victorious over death, and risen from the grave. But He chose to suffer the anguish of that cross, so I could be with Him always. And the Father endured the death of His Beloved Son, so I could be His child. What kind of love is that? 

 
It is the kind of love that draws His suffering child nearer to His own heart. The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart, and save such as be of a contrite spirit. Psalms 34:18

It is the kind of love that hears the faintest whimper from His child’s heart. The righteous cry , and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of  all their troubles. Psalms 34:17

It is the kind of love that keeps in view all that concerns His child. The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry. Psalms 34:15

Has my view of God changed because of suffering? No. And yes.

No, because knowledge of God’s Word and my experience has taught me God is faithful, good, compassionate, and kind. After all. God is love. 

Yes, because my knowledge and experience of God’s character has expanded. 

 When I was in the emergency room with my son, I could not see a panaramic view of hills and trees. Even if there had been windows: I could not have see but a few trees on the bottom  floor. However, from a seventh floor room in the same building the view was greater, broader, deeper, and higher. The trees were the same as before, but I could see more of them. That’s what happens when we allow God into our suffering. Suffering with God gives room for  the sufferer to expand their view of God. 

We are all going to suffer. We cannot unfollow pain. We cannot unsubscribe to hurt. However, we do have a choice about how we react to suffering. We can choose to suffer with God or without Him. We can choose to take in that view or turn our backs in anger and bitterness. 

As I wrap this up it is dark. Instead of beautiful trees I see a millon lights. Behind, under, and around those lights are people. Most of them are suffering in some way or another. Maybe they are not stuck in a hospital bed receiving treatment, like my son,  but they might be suffering worse. My son is not out of options, yet. I am not of options, yet. And if you are breathing, you are not out of options yet. Consider Jesus, He is the best option. Make room in your view for the only Savior, and never suffer alone again.

O taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man that trusteth in Him. Psalms 34:8